We’re in Ramadan 2020! I’m living my 30th year of life in quarantine and there is a lot to think about. As I relaunch my blog, I had a chance to look back at my one and only post, a reflection on a life incident that happened in August 2014. Almost 6 years have gone by, and I feel like I’ve been blessed with a fresh new perspective! So I launch with Bismillah (in the name of Allah)!
The incident I’m referring to recalls my time back at an Islamic retreat that I went to. My first ever retreat experience that was meant to be something cherish-able but instead turned into something unexpected, that left us all shaken.
The retreat was basically a time for like minded Muslims of similar age to get away from their busy day to day lives and reflect of the true meaning of life while being surrounded by nature, in the company of Muslim scholars. We all need one of those from time to time.
Among the fun activities planned for us, one of them was a sisters only lakeside swim. For those of you who don’t know, an open water swim experience for a Hijabi Muslim is like striking gold in a mine. In the West most public pools, beaches, or any water rides are public and for mixed genders which means that a Hijabi can’t experience it the same way.
- We can’t have our hair down, it must be covered.
- Swim suits can’t be body hugging (Big thumbs up to whoever came up with the idea of Burkini).
- Regardless of a lose outfit, when the suit gets wet it sticks to your body revealing the shape. For us, that’s not comfortable!
So when someone say women only swim…. dude I’m there!
The property had been cleared for us so we can get comfortable and let down our hair, enjoy a rare exposure to the sun. The air, the water, the sun! It was all so beautiful when suddenly some of us noticed something approaching towards us on the water. It was a big boat!
This was supposed to be our private time, on private property! So an organizer took charge and thought to remind the passengers that they’re trespassing. She wanted us to continue enjoying our activity.
They weren’t close enough to us so the organizer attempted to wave her hands and tell them they’re on private property. While numerous other attempts were made to change the boat’s course of direction it did not seize its course.
It seemed as if they had heard her but they continued to sail towards us anyway. What seemed to be a mistake at one point became an act of deliberate disregard towards our request. At this point we had no choice but to run out of the water.
Only another hijabi can understand the gut sinking feeling of someone walking in while we’re dressed modestly. It’s like someone walking in on you when you’re naked.
At this point I was already out of the water, but when I turned and caught a glimpse of the boat through the trees I could see that the boat had stopped at the dock and there was some conversation happening between the passengers and the organizer.
I saw a sister with a frown on her face headed towards me from the dock. I asked her what had happened when she was close and she repeated a racist remark that the passengers had made. A relaxing activity had just turned into every Muslim’s nightmare – an Islamophobic incident.
I tried to get to the dock as soon as possible to support my sisters however I didn’t make it there on time. The boat had already left. I looked around and saw the reaction of some of the sisters. While some were calm, others were extremely upset, angry and one was literally shaking. I couldn’t process what had just happened.
This is NOT what we had come for!
Later that night one of the teachers who was with us at the retreat heard about the incident and came to talk to us. I thought maybe he wanted to advise everyone what to do in such a situation but instead he started to ask us how we felt.
I did question his decision to counsel us because in that moment I didn’t realize how big of a deal it was until a witness started to describe the entire incident in detail and the ugliness of it all.
Basically what had happened was that the boat was filled with drunk fishermen out on an excursion to catch a fish. When we tried to politely inform them that they were trespassing private property, they chose to retaliate with racial and Islamophobic slurs.
A woman among them had gotten up and started to respond by telling us to “remove our wrap” or “go back home”. What’s worse is that the boat was filled majority men, but the only woman among them was the spewing hateful remarks while the men supported her and kept laughing.
Question is why did she do it? or why does anyone choose to retaliate ANY discussion with hate? Simply because of ignorance. She was ignorant about the fact that she was on private property. She was ignorant about the fact that our home IS Canada. She was ignorant about the fact that Canada is in fact a multicultural country and has been since 1971 [1]. She was ignorant about the fact that our ‘wrap’ is called a hijab and it is a huge part of Muslim identity, who by the way make up 3.2% of Canadian Population making Islam the second largest religion in Canada [2].
Whatever she chose to say was extremely hateful, hurtful and abusive. Just hearing the gist of the words, I knew I never wanted to hear them again let alone repeat them. I found myself crying in the middle of the discussion, and so were many other sisters.
The incident didn’t just end there. Those guys chose to leave but a few of them returned back to our property on a speedboat, in their drunken state. Why did they come back? It wasn’t to apologize. It was so they can harm us. They had thought the property only had helpless Muslim girls, but it didn’t. Imagine the height of their ignorance and hate when they choose to take further steps only to prove a point – they are more powerful and can do whatever they want!
I thought I was fine but I wasn’t. I was deeply effected by the incident just as much. I kept thinking that how can people have so much hate in their hearts? What had we done to deserve it?
Experience perhaps is the best teacher. What we learned through reading and listening is only a portion of what a life lived actually teaches us.
I learned that Allah is truly the best of planners and whatever happens is decreed by Him based on His divine knowledge and wisdom. I went to the retreat hoping to escape the fast pace of daily life and attain a sense of peace by being away from everything. When this happened it caught everyone off guard but by the grace of Allah (SWT) we were able to deal with it and re-attain the realization that sakeenah (tranquility) still exists as if it were never lost.
Through this event, I drew some parallels to my daily life. While I seek an escape to have a sense of peace, there is no real escape. Wherever I go, I will have to face difficult circumstances. True peace is knowing that Allah (SWT) is with me, and through His guidance I know how to handle things that are thrown at me. I know this because He (SWT) says in the Qu’ran:
“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity…”.
[Qur’an 2: 286]
On numerous difficult occasions I’ve felt that I can’t deal with the burden of it, but there’s peace at heart in knowing that I’m not burdened with more than I can bear. This makes me want to try harder. Reality is that everyday will not go as I planned, but it will always go as Allah (SWT) planned it.
This taught me another thing that those people who choose to live a life of heedlessness, whilst remaining ignorant, perhaps they gain momentary bliss in drinking, in ridiculing others, in exerting power through hateful remarks but their state is neither helping them, nor anyone else. What they do to others is evident, but they do to themselves is far worse. Once out of their drunken state what they gain in return is guilt that they have to live with life long, and never truly finding any inner peace.
Perhaps they should reflect within themselves and acknowledge the darkness within to realize that there is a need for light, and develop a longing for it. If they do, Allah (SWT) promises to guide everyone because He is merciful to not just Muslims, but ALL of mankind.
[1] Kobayashi, Audrey (1983), “Multiculturalism: Representing a Canadian Institution”, in Duncan, James S; Duncan, Ley (eds.), Place/culture/representation, Routledge, pp. 205–206, ISBN 978-0-415-09451-1
[2] “Canadian Demographics at a Glance, Second edition”. statcan.gc.ca. Statistics Canada. February 19, 2016. Retrieved April 23, 2020.
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